You all may have heard of calf-fries, Rocky Mountain oysters, and the other vague names for the dish where ultimately, you eat bull testicles. For all of those who are reeling in disgust right now, just know that yes, people eat that and much worse around the world. Lamb brain or iguana anyone?

Anyway, apparently a guy walked in to an Oklahoma City bar and committed a heinous crime in the state of Oklahoma– he wore a Texas Longhorns t-shirt. So well this is exactly the type of crime that requires vigilante justice– street justice– or perhaps even a CITIZEN’S arrest. So what did Allen Michael Beckett do? He grabbed the felon’s BALLSACK and wouldn’t let go until it tore off and blood dripped down his legs.

You smell that? That’s the smell of intelligence and freedom of expression in Oklahoma.

Or maybe it’s the UT fan shitting his pants after realizing that his balls had to be restitched on with 60 stitches. Yum.

Alright so I found this R-rated version of the trailer for Superbad, as you’ve no doubt heard, from the same guys who brought you 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Let me just go on record as saying there isn’t any nudity or anything if you’re at work you’ll be fine. There’s just language, so just turn the speakers down and enjoy the show. I have GOT to see this movie.

“He had just produced a litter of puppies with a bitch that had a single nose.”
-taken from a BBC article about a rare dog with two noses