“Email is so 1999″
-Bill, obviously the couture-fashionista of the internet world

To watch the pre-game festivities before Chelsea took on the LA Galaxy, David Beckham’s new team, one would believe that David Beckham was Jesus Christ. The paparazzi, the crowd, the A-list celebrities, the VIP after-party (!!), and the announcers drolling on and on about how magnificent he is. (One announcer actually said, “I wonder when he will be showing his beautiful face on this field.”)

No wait. Maybe not Jesus Christ. Jesus wasn’t really all that well liked in his time.

Make that Tom Cruise before the whole couch jumping thing. And speaking of Cruise, his latest offspring and her mother were at the game. Yes, TomKitten and Katie Holmes were in attendance as well. (Along with Posh Spice– duh, she’s married to Beckham– , Eva Longoria, the Governator, Jennifer Love Hewitt, yadda yadda yadda….)

Now it was very clear that he had sustained a nagging ankle injury a month ago which would detain him, and Becks was only expected to play for about 10 minutes. So we all waited with bated breath for that enchanting moment. The first half wore on (a respectable 0-0 tie considering that Chelsea has won the English Premiership Leage twice in the last three years), and finally in the 70th minute, Beckham got up and began warming up. There was palpable amount of build up and excitement in the crowd. Just the mere movement of him from the bench got people jumping and yelling.

This was no soccer player. This was a star.

It was also apparent that Becks was playing with pain. He strained a bit at times, but any second his foot touched the ball sent the crowd into a frenzy- unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Cameras would flash, people would scream, and the poor guy would just try to stay composed. Now since this was an exhibition game, the LA Galaxy had requested that Chelsea not tackle Beckham hard because of his ankle injury. Professional courtesy as it were. They agreed. And then, some 17 year old punk from Chelsea decided to tackle The Great One from the back, causing him to crumple to the ground in a twisted heap, grabbing his injured ankle, writhing in pain. It was a moment of silence for the entire stadium, followed by angry jeers.

To put it into perspective for non-soccer lovers– think of it as Rocky IV when there’s that crazy exhibition match between Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago. Apollo plays it up for the crowd with James Brown singing Living in America. Drago doesn’t see anything as an ‘exhibition’ and proceeds to pulverize and ultimately kill Creed.

Yes. It was that moment.

Fortunately for us, Beckham didn’t die, and the guy came back and apologized to him at the end of the game and The Great One graciously smiled and forgave him.

Which then makes me wonder… maybe I was right with my Jesus Christ analogy in the first place… hmmm..

“You crazy whore!”
-Tracy, definitely being the first person to say that to me.

“[I] don’t think i’ll ever trust another man again but hey, who needs ‘em. i got batteries.”
-Michelle

I hadn’t talked to Michelle in a couple of months almost and she drops this gem. Amazing. I feel like if I were to hang out with her every day this whole site would just be ‘isms’ of Michelle. And Amit, who I haven’t talked to in a while. So I need to get to that.

“I saw a lady once, and she had a wig and a MOUSTACHE.”
-Andrew, my 6 year old cousin